By Walt Charles
“Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.” - taken from anonymous email on choosing Mr. Right
I agree with the first sentence. One of the primary functions of dating is data collection. I think that dating is the easiest way to get to know someone without having to make a commitment.
Have you ever wondered what happened to dating, though? For those of us brought up in the church, we were taught that dating was wrong. I remember a book entitled. “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. For some reason, the church decided that dating was wrong, and that anyone who practiced dating was tantamount to disobeying one of the Ten Commandments.
I do remember one problem with dating – women assumed that if they went on one date with a guy that they were officially together, even if the date didn’t go well. Women would then become very upset if the guy they were dating the week before was going out with someone else the following weekend.
So here’s my idea. Instead of singles’ parties where everyone acts like they don’t want to be in a relationship, why not institute a dating policy at your church? Even better, why not set up a church-to-church dating weekend or speed-dating event? The trick is setting expectations, especially surrounding 1st dates. Each person should have the opportunity to talk one-on-one with someone with no strings attached and no hard feelings. I think that this will be one of the easiest ways to get singles talking again instead of standing around.
There’s nothing wrong with dating. Meeting new people is fun, especially when it doesn’t take a year to have the first conversation.
Rise High in Gratitude
6 years ago
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1 comment:
You make some good points. One problem I think is that Harris wrote his book talking about his experiences as a teenager. Thus his book is more appropriate for teenagers and not for older singles that you seem to be talking about.
I wonder why so many people assumed that what worked for him as a teenager should apply to everyone especially older singles.
Harris has even acknowledged problems with how singles relate in his church (but doesn't share them on his website). If Harris has problems at his own church then I am sure they exist in a lot of other churches.
You might find my blog critiquing his book of interest:
www.ikdg.wordpress.com
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness?
Hope this helps.
Steve
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