.mad black women (and other reasons I hate Tyler Perry)

BY Walt Charles

This is another attempt to be honest with my friends in 2009.

I don’t like Tyler Perry movies. I don’t like Tyler Perry plays. I especially dislike his TBS sitcoms. I have frequent discussions with my friends about this and I find myself defending my opinion very often. One of my friends mentioned a play/movie Tyler Perry produced a few years ago entitled, ‘Diary of a Mad Black Woman’. Now, I have no idea what the movie is about, but the title did get me thinking about a personality type that really turns men/women off – the angry personality.

We all know the angry woman persona - the woman that thinks that she is being honest when she is really just abrasive. What about the angry man? The same definition applies. The thing that usually rubs me the wrong way is their inability to control their own temper – angry response to a slow driver is similar in intensity to their response to an axe murderer!

Most times, these angry people think that they are calm, rational and appropriate. I have had many conversations with angry people who are in denial. I can hear the angry people now, “The problem isn’t with me, it’s with you!” They usually counter that most times people just can’t handle someone who is straight-forward. What angry people don’t realize is that, unless you’re a supermodel, people tend to avoid meaningful interaction with you. People don’t have time to deal with angry folk, making relationship-building more difficult.

My thought here is not just about angry people, but about receiving criticism. As my old boss used to say, “It’s all about perception”. Whether you are fully self-aware or completely in the dark, the road to recovery starts with getting honest feedback regarding your personality flaws. But the natural response to criticism is to be defensive. So how can I know if I’m an angry person?

My suggestion is to ask five friends from different parts of your life – maybe one person at work, another from your family, church, etc. There are two reasons why I think this could work:

- By asking the question, you feel more at ease about the nature of the criticism
- If five people tell you that you’re angry, you probably are being perceived that way, whether you agree with them or not

Becoming more aware of your angry personality is integral to becoming a better mate. Developing the ability to take criticism is a life-skill. Take the time to listen to your friends. They have your best interest at heart.