Are You Really Ready for Love?

Ahhh … love. That wonderful unexplainable feeling inside you that makes you do the craziest things. You know I once told someone that I would climb the highest mountain in the world for them … just because I thought I was in love. Now keep in mind I was like 15. A brother is 32 now and mountain climbing just ain’t me. LOL.

Wow … it’s amazing the physical lengths we are willing to go through in the name of love. Fella’s, y’all also know the financial lengths we will go through to prove our love (don’t act like you haven’t been there …lol.

But what is love? This may be the most rhetorical question of the ages thus far, but really? What is love? I thought I understood what love was when I was younger. But I have recently fallen in love and I am destined to understand what constitues love. I always thought that love was sharing, caring, laughing, having a good time and just plain ol’ peachy. I thought love was getting the kids ready for work and helping my significant other pay bills on time. You know … I even thought that love was also hinged upon how good the bedroom performance was (although that one still weighs heavily on my mind:-). Hey I’m not perfect.)

But then I spent a lot of time alone and I started to ask myself … have I ever really been in love. I mean, I’ve had the house with the dog and a big yard. My girl stayed laced in the finest things. We had friends and family over all the time and we talked about problems. But still … the “Love” faded.What I’ve come to realize lately is that love really is synonymous with truth. Those who have read my poetry know that this is a consistent theme in my work. It’s because I truly believe this. So, when I digressed on past relationships there was always one major element that didn’t exist. Truth. I never let them see the REAL me.

All this time, I was happy being the person that they wanted me to be. It also seemed as if they played along and put on the mask of the person they thought I wanted them to be. Both of us afraid of letting each other see our true selves. Oh, it’s perfect when someone is always saying the right things and back rubs feel just right and the bills are paid on time. But when the proverbial "honey moon" is over … where does the love go?

In the time I spent alone I realized that most people associate love to things. Meaning they feel loved when the stars are visible in the sky or the moon is shining just right on the ocean waves as they cruise through the Caribbean. Christmas time and Thanksgiving are excellent times to display love with all the nostalgic feelings surrounding them. That diamond ring your fiancé bought with one third of his paycheck … yeah you feel the love right now don’t you … lol.

Well this is my take on love. Love is this the dirty socks left in the corner of the room because your boyfriend is too lazy to make his way to the hamper? Or all that damn hair your girl leaves in the sink and the tub and in the brush and on the floor around the toilet. Love, is knowing that your spouse has an attitude problem but you know they’ll get over it. It’s waiting in the mall for hours just to find one matching shirt or always having to remember things for someone who forgets things all the time. It’s being so mad that if you could light someone of fire with your mind … you would. But you don’t because you couldn’t picture yourself living another day without that person.

Someone once said that we LIKE people BECAUSE, but we LOVE them ALTHOUGH. Meaning that although our mates drive us up the wall … there is some innate feeling inside of us that is so strong (perhaps from the first moment we met them) that tells us that everything is going to be fine. I also learned that to truly love someone, we must help them become the best versions of themselves and that they should be willing to return the favor.

Yes, love is laughter and weddings and first dates and flowers and new watches (I love watches for anyone paying attention … lol). It is wedding anniversaries and birthday parties. It’s even the feeling we get when we look into their eye right before you lay them down. But it’s also arguments and long talks, being ignored because they just can’t take anymore of your mouth. It’s telling them the truth even if it hurts.Love is give and take.

Love is that feeling I got when I saw her ... it felt effortless and natural. Love is how I feel about MYSELF now.